Depression

I'm going to explain a little further what I mean. My obsession isn't a friendly one. That's really the problem. I have friends, and I love them to death. Friends aren't what I'm missing, although I'd love to have more. I'm missing a man. I know it sounds funny, but I am still stuck on my goal of marriage. I've been saying I want to get married for years now. It started when I was 15.

I watch these shows and think.. 'I want someone with that quality as my husband'. It's crazy, I know, but that's the problem. Now I'm at a point where I'm being told I'm not ready, and I have to wait longer.

I try not to think about it. I try to just have fun with friends, do what I need to do to be ready when someone does come along.. but the idea that it could be years is just depressing. I don't want to wait. I try to ignore it, to just move on.. then I see an episode of Avatar, or I'll go see a movie like Twilight, and it starts all over again.

I feel like I can't win. No matter what I do, it changes nothing.